Car Wreck...

Going through things really makes...well actually forces you to grow up. Grow up in all areas of your life can sometimes sting some. My drama that again...most of you already know...has forced me to grow up in so many ways.

I used to say that I was the driver of my car of "life". I thought I would go to college, get married, stay married for 'x' amount of years, start a family,kids would be 5 years apart, then would retire and move into a log cabin in the woods. Alot of this came from my, at the time, youth pastor who I thought hung the moon but now after growing up I realize not everything is story book like he made life out to be for me.

Here lately I have been really questioning the "why" questions. Why do things happen in the timing they happen?Why do people you care so much about let you down?Why are people so mean...even as adults?Why when you feel like your life is finally were you are happy enough to take a deep breath your carpet is pulled right out from under you?WHY?WHY?WHY?

This week...I started reading this book called Crazy Love, by: Francis Chan.And in the book he says, "not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending. What a stunted, insignificant god that would be!"

Man, that put me in my place. My little pea size brain is not made to fully understand God...and why He does the things He does. And thank you Jesus for not being a god that I can fully understand...that would make You like me...or like people I used to call friends...or people I do now...and all of those people(including me) are ALL capable of letting others down.

I was talking to a friend tonight and he said, "James 1:5 - If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God."

So that is what I will do from now on...because no more will I be the driver and nor do I want to me...because look where that got me...in a major life wreck!